Blue Ivy, Afros, and No Make Up: Stop Policing Black Women Beauty

My beauty is something that everyone that doesn’t have melanin wants. They would go tan, curl and crimp their hair, and even try every protective style in the book to look like me. Yet when we have children that are in South Africa protesting there right to wear the hair that God gave them and grown women from the black community are talking about Blue Ivy’s hair texture, we have a major problem.

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Alicia Keys decided to stop wearing make up and everyone thinks she weird for doing so and the sad thing is….she looks more natural than half of the women in the industry and younger as well! So whats wrong with the “No Make Up” movement but yet we are okay with the natural hair movement?

Why is it that a black women’s beauty considered a fashion trend? Why can’t we as a collective enjoy what the good Lord gave us? Let little black girls and teens have the chance to understand that their beauty is something that no one can take away from them. Let these young ladies see positive representations of what it really means to have “Black Girl Magic” and use there talents to affect there communities.

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I just want to say thank you to the young black girls that are in South Africa who are protesting for the right to wear there natural hair in school. They are really showcasing “Black Girl Magic”.

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All I can say is let black girls live! Let us live please! We come in all shape and sizes, colors and complexions, along with hair textures. Quit telling us we can’t be black when we are black. Stop saying our Box Braids, Kinky Twist, Afros, Curls, Coils, TWA, Weaves, and any hairstyle that we decide to wear isn’t considered to be beautiful and take that same style and call it a “trend”. Protective styling is not a trend! It’s a way for us to change up our hairstyles and make sure we “protect” out hair from the wear-and-tear of constant styling that our hair goes through. Let us enjoy who we are, let us support us. Empowerment comes from within, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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Representation is always going to matter, Black beauty matters!

 

5 issues that color treated natural hair ladies can understand

Now I have to admit I have a addiction to coloring my coily curls and I can’t help it. I know that over time my curls will take a beating but I just love to change my look up. I swear I can go from one extreme to another and still have my hair in tact lol. From blue-black,copper, burgundy, wine red, light brown with blonde highlights I swear I need to start buying curly wigs because I thing I have a problem lol. Yet there are some things that I noticed that no one told me when I first started coloring my hair.

Well I am hear to warn some of my naturals that want to finally go in and take a chance on coloring there curls!

DISCLAIMER: My hair is currently black! I miss having “normal” hair so I decided that I wanted to go back where I started. I MIGHT not color my hair for the next 6 months because I am lazy with the upkeep lol.

1.) The bleach smells funny and can also sting: I swear whether I do my own color or go to the salon, the smell of the developer and bleach makes me feel like I am getting attacked. That is something I won’t miss.

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2.) Watching countless hours of YouTube videos. instagram, and pinterest to figure out what hair color you want to have: I swear I still do this to this day! I would look at pictures for hours and even days trying to figure out what color i should do next. Yet my hair had the final say and the color never came out the way it looked on social media. Take it from me, just buy a wig and call it a day!

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3.) Using box dye to color your hair and the color that is on the box isn’t showing up as the final look on your curls: I have had an incident when I had blue-black hair and tried to go reddish brown and the final color turns into purple. I have tried to color my hair red and it turns into brown and red patches. I will always try to go to a stylist to color my hair for me! I swear box dye is a gift from the devil. So many lies being told just from one application.

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4.) The money you have to spend to take care of your color treated curls can hurt your pockets: I am broke but I love when my hair feels good. The upkeep of coloring your coils and curls can take a tole on your checking account. This can be a bad thing, not just for you overall but for the health of your hair. Be careful and pay attention to what your hair is telling you!

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5.)  In the end, you go back to dark brown or black because you went to far on coloring your hair: I can’t even lie, I have done this before. But I miss being a classic looking beauty with jet black curly hair. It only take 6 months from now I’ll see a cute hair color and start trying to figure out how I can get this color. I swear I have a serious problem!

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This is your hair and do what you feel you want to do with it! Take care of it and have fun. But don’t say I didn’t warn you in the process!

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My favorite products for coily/curly natural hair

Natural hair is literally a lifestyle! and it is not as easy as it looks especially trying to watch videos on YouTube, stalk your favorite naturals on Instagram (and even snapchat), and play mad scientist trying to figure out all the different products that either work or don’t work with your hair type. Then there is more research trying to figure out how to grow your hair down your back while retaining length and keeping it manageable. I feel like I am taking another college class from all the reading,watching, experimentation, and research! Look ain’t nobody got time for that lol. But then again I have learned from being natural for the last five years that everything comes with time and it’s okay to change things up! As human beings it’s in our nature to do so lol.

I know I told myself that I would pace myself with these product reviews but seeing that my Instagram along with Facebook is full of questions so I decided to a guild on how to manage those coils and curls that don’t want to act right lol.

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  • Deep Conditioner: My number one choice is Aussie 3 Minute Miracle “Moist”Deep Conditioner! This is product right her it life and it helps deep condition and detangle my hair. I swear once your in the shower and you washed the shampoo out and put this stuff on your hair, leave it in for about 5 minutes (I get lazy and I never time this deep conditioner so the longer you live it in the better) and watch when you rinse out your hair your hair is soft and hydrated. Your hair is going to feel butter soft and manageable….believe me I could go on about this product but it’s worth it lol. And the one thing that I hate is as you know most naturals are heavy handed with the products so this deep conditioner can be used up quick, so make sure you get at least two of these to last for a while!

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  • Shampoo and Conditioner: I have been using this product for the last 8 months and I must say, I like it! Organix Coconut Milk Shampoo and Conditioner is worth the time and money. Now this can be used on all kinds of hair types and even color treated hair. I use up the conditioner the majority of the time but the shampoo is just as good. Your hair is going to smell like coconuts pretty much the whole day especially if you use coconut oil after lol. I swear your hair will thank you for it.

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  • Leave-In Conditioner: With dark and lovely I was nervous to use at first but with a leap of faith and because I wanted something different I bought these two items. Dark and Lovely Au Naturale Super Softening Hair Butter and Curl Moisturizing Souffle are my go to products for my styling and everyday leave-in conditioner. I use shea butter along with jojoba oil, dark castor oil, and coconut oil. My hair feels hydrated and moisturized all day and it smells great too. Also I use the Au Naturale Curl Moisturizing Souffle for my braid-outs, twist-outs, roller sets, and wash-in-go’s. I use the Au Naturale Super Softening Hair Butter for when my hair is a couple of days old and I put my hair up in buns and puffs for even before I put my box braids in lol. The price is okay but it will last a long time if you save the product to the last drop and I mean the very last drop lol.

I find that having curly and coily hair can be a challenge yet it can be fun at the same time. You just have to find products that work for you and your hair. Being natural is exploring and having fun with what works for you. It can be hard and there are some moments that you might want to cut your hair off because you feel like its too much work to be honest lol. Well I’m here to say that keep the hope alive and keep following my blog for more tips and tricks lol!

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Things Natural Hair Ladies Are Tired of Hearing (or people doing)!

Now look when I first went natural no one told me that people will change along with the fact that my hair has changed. I feel that when you go natural people (both black and white) go ape shit crazy! Shit I don’t know how many times people have reached to touch my hair, from kids to old people, from co-workers and family members, just out of fascination and astonishment on how my hair can curl and kink up and stay that way for days on end. I mean I love the natural hair movement, but I guess people STILL haven’t seen hair like mine before even though the natural hair movement has been around for a long time and has finally hit main stream media.

So I’m letting people know the basic rules when it comes to what can piss,upset and offend curly/coily/kinky natural hair girls! (WARNING: This is my personal opinion so if you get upset that is on you, you don’t have to read this shit! lol):

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1.) DO NOT REACH OUT AND TOUCH A NATURALS HAIR WITHOUT ASKING!!!: I swear that shit really makes me angry and upset….the majority of people don’t wash there hands and touching my hair might put those germs in my hair! Then people get mad at you when you don’t let them touch your hair! I really want to slap people who do that lol. Please ask “May I touch your hair?” or “If you don’t mind me asking…can I touch your hair?” Then from there, I MIGHT let you touch my hair, but everyone else might not be as understanding as me so proceed with caution!

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2.) DO NOT ASK IF A NATURALS HAIR IS HER/HIS HAIR!: I swear my family use to do this when I first went natural. Yes, this is my real hair, it grows out of my head this way and I can’t change that. I am not wearing a wig or a weave, so this is all of my natural hair!  But if I want to then that is my choice and no one else.

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3.) DO NOT ASK A NATURAL ABOUT STRAIGHTENING THEIR HAIR!: I swear this is another thing that pisses me off! It will take me about 3 1/2 hours to get my hair to be straightened and that is not me being in the salon with my stylist. Straightening my hair is an all day event with Netfilx and snacks breaks. Taking care of my natural hair is hard work! Then once my hair is “straight” it may last me about 3 days until it gets frizzy and I have to wash it again….no ma’am I will not be wasting my time on straightening my hair…AT ALL!

4.) PLEASE STOP STARING AT MY HAIR….I CAN SEE YOU!!!: Like I get it, my hair is gorgeous and is unique, but dang pick up your bottom lip and ask or complement me about my hair! And if you have questions just ask….I have no problem in answering them at all!

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5.) QUIT SAYING NATURALS LOOK LIKE MACY GRAY OR JILL SCOTT…YOU SOUND DUMB AND NOT EVERY SINGLE NATURAL LOOKS LIKE THAT: I mean they are beautiful women and stuff, but stop saying that. Not every single natural looks the same nor are there hair is the same. Please just say “You know what your hair is unique, and I like that!” or “I really like your hair, it’s different.” I would feel really good, but once you say “You know who you remind me of….Macy Gray! it’s just your hair though!”, you gave me a backhanded complement! I look nothing like her….how does that comment make any sense?!?!

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Look these are just some of the things that make natural hair ladies upset, but these are some of the things that I have noticed. Don’t get me wrong I know a lot of people don’t understand the natural hair movement but don’t be afraid to ask questions! In the natural hair community there is open discussions and dialog, so just come and join the conversation. Just don’t say anything stupid! lol

Natural Hair, Incense, and Shea Mositure: The Love/Hate Relationship I have with the state of the natural hair community

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I am writing this post because I am starting to notice some things within the natural hair community that I am starting not to like! I would hate to read some people and some natural hair lines but I feel that the REAL message of natural hair community compared to the MEDIA image of the natural hair movement have some blurred lines. Colorism, Texture Discrimination, and Infatuation of “Natural Curly Hair” are some of the issues that shine a light on the not so natural issues in the natural hair community. Basically I feel like this is the modern argument of the Field Nigga vs. House Nigga…..but with natural hair!

Now don’t get me wrong I love my hair and everything that it has to offer but, I am over SOME parts of the natural hair movement! My blog isn’t about me giving tutorials and bragging on how curly and coily my hair is, (3c/4a mix….which is curly/coily and can be seen as a “good hair combo” or “mixed girl hair”). But it’s about my hair and how embracing my natural beauty has changed my life and how I am now seeing the European beauty standards of mainstream media. I will be giving product reviews with my honest opinion but I’m not going overboard! (Hopefully I would be able to get some coins, but if not then that is fine with me).

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My personal meaning to the “Natural Hair Movement”:

  • Embracing the beauty that God gave us while slaying every white beauty standard that has been placed on us since colonization along the kidnapping,rape,murder, and genocide of African people.
  • Teaching our little girls that they are beautiful no matter how they wear their natural hair, while teaching them how to maintain their hair.
  • Making the Beauty and Hair Industry realize that, as consumers, black hair care matters and we want other alternatives/products to be able to take care of our natural hair.
  • And taking the time to learn about your hair and how to maintain it, at the same time being creative and changing it up.

Somehow it seems that this has been lost because of the chance from natural hair companies to sponsor women with big natural curly hair via social media sites like Instagram,YouTube, or Twitter. (I swear the more likes/follows you get the more coins you get).YouTube channels that have curly women with 100,000+ views compared to the women who have “kinky” hair with less than 30,000 views end up getting more natural hair endorsements, especially if they have a “lighter” complexion. Along with white mainstream media and casting among the beauty and hair industry. Don’t get me wrong, some people do it for the coins, others care about the community by providing content about self-love as well as promoting healthy hair and then eventually get some coins in return. Now don’t get upset with me, this is MY PERSONAL OPINION and I am only giving insight to a community that I am apart of.

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