5 issues that color treated natural hair ladies can understand

Now I have to admit I have a addiction to coloring my coily curls and I can’t help it. I know that over time my curls will take a beating but I just love to change my look up. I swear I can go from one extreme to another and still have my hair in tact lol. From blue-black,copper, burgundy, wine red, light brown with blonde highlights I swear I need to start buying curly wigs because I thing I have a problem lol. Yet there are some things that I noticed that no one told me when I first started coloring my hair.

Well I am hear to warn some of my naturals that want to finally go in and take a chance on coloring there curls!

DISCLAIMER: My hair is currently black! I miss having “normal” hair so I decided that I wanted to go back where I started. I MIGHT not color my hair for the next 6 months because I am lazy with the upkeep lol.

1.) The bleach smells funny and can also sting: I swear whether I do my own color or go to the salon, the smell of the developer and bleach makes me feel like I am getting attacked. That is something I won’t miss.

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2.) Watching countless hours of YouTube videos. instagram, and pinterest to figure out what hair color you want to have: I swear I still do this to this day! I would look at pictures for hours and even days trying to figure out what color i should do next. Yet my hair had the final say and the color never came out the way it looked on social media. Take it from me, just buy a wig and call it a day!

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3.) Using box dye to color your hair and the color that is on the box isn’t showing up as the final look on your curls: I have had an incident when I had blue-black hair and tried to go reddish brown and the final color turns into purple. I have tried to color my hair red and it turns into brown and red patches. I will always try to go to a stylist to color my hair for me! I swear box dye is a gift from the devil. So many lies being told just from one application.

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4.) The money you have to spend to take care of your color treated curls can hurt your pockets: I am broke but I love when my hair feels good. The upkeep of coloring your coils and curls can take a tole on your checking account. This can be a bad thing, not just for you overall but for the health of your hair. Be careful and pay attention to what your hair is telling you!

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5.)  In the end, you go back to dark brown or black because you went to far on coloring your hair: I can’t even lie, I have done this before. But I miss being a classic looking beauty with jet black curly hair. It only take 6 months from now I’ll see a cute hair color and start trying to figure out how I can get this color. I swear I have a serious problem!

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This is your hair and do what you feel you want to do with it! Take care of it and have fun. But don’t say I didn’t warn you in the process!

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All Lives Matter vs. Black Lives Matter

Why can’t we have our own shit! Yup I said it, and I’ll say it again.Why can’t we have out own shit. I feel like this phrase “Black Lives Matter” makes people who are non-white uncomfortable. I swear this is something that we should be able to have. What is the problem? No seriously, what is the problem because as an educator I have learned children don’t see color, yet for black children there is that one moment in there life with other children when they learn who they are because there classmate making a joke, a slur, or a goofy drawing that mentions there identity. In other words this is where this starts the concept (TO ME) the young scholars “black experience”. It bothers me that I can’t go down the street without being cussed out by a white man for wearing a shirt that says “Black Kids Matter, What’s Your Purpose?”. I am a African American female who works in a low income school district with the majority of my children in my class being black or brown. So what do you expect me to feel when I see black children and teens getting harassed by the police or murdered? Okay so like I was saying black kids do matter lol!

Yes all lives do matter, but at the same time right now at this very moment black lives matter because ever since we were kidnapped from our motherland of Africa, sent off to various parts of the Americas and the Caribbean, and forced to to labor work among white Europeans who would beat, rape, and kill us because of various ridiculous reasons we have never mattered. EVEN THOUGH we built the white house!

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As a community we are tired of being sick and tired but we do have a lot of issues in the community. We are not perfect yet we will stand for each other because that is in out nature. Like my granny use to say “all ya skin folk aint ya kin folk” and sadly I believe that is so true. Some black people don’t agree with the concept of black lives matter, and I understand there reasons why. That doesn’t change my view lol. Yet in this day and age we need to say basically the affirmation “BLACK LIVES MATTER” to keep moving forward because it seems like society is moving backwards.

I swear saying all lives matter is like a fire truck putting the water on every other house in the neighborhood but the house that is burning!
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Stop saying “Well what about Black on Black crime”!

I am so sorry that I took a super hiatus from you ladies and gents but I have to come back out of my rabbit hole. I told myself that I would watch what I say but FUCK IT my goal on this blog is to represent the people who want to speak up but can’t.

So with that being said, STOP TALKING ABOUT “BLACK ON BLACK” CRIME IN SPACES WHERE WE TALK ABOUT “BLACK LIVES MATTER”.

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Stop saying “All Lives Matter” when in all actuality they don’t unless you have “the complexion for the protection”, in other words white privilege. Right now black lives do matter, we are the ones that are being killed, raped, and incarcerated. We are the ones that have gentrification happening in neighborhoods that have a predominantly black and Hispanic populations with rich culture and history. We are the ones that have young black men and women who are not making it to see 18 let alone making it to see there first day of college because of gang violence and police brutality. We are the ones that lost all of are rich culture and history because of the slave trade that broke up our families and communities, broke up history of the diaspora that come from west, central, and south Africa, and put us in a inner generational trauma and a serious case of post traumatic slave disorder on a whole forced enslaved culture that is displaced still to this day. We as a people are tired of trying to fit into spaces that we obviously don’t fit in. We are tired of people taking a culture that we have worked so hard to create because of the lack of teaching in k-12 education about who we really are as a people before the forced enslavement.

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I am tired. I am sick and tired of all of this shit! I get it, white people will never understand the trauma that we as a African diaspora have went through but shit can you stop acting like we are overreacting! I am sorry, but I will never understand what it will be like being born with “the invisible knapsack of white privilege” because even if I have a chance of making it to this somewhat overrated idea of “the american dream” I will still be reminded that I am a Black woman who will always be at the lower end of the pole of the intersection of race, class, and gender.

Even with my college degree I will never be equal with my white female counterparts. I will be told that I “look better with straight hair” because my big curly red afro is “unprofessional” and “distracting”. I will be compared to TV and social media stereotypes that are portraying women of color in a wrong light and always have to hear “you are really pretty for a brown skin/dark skin girl”. I will still be trying to deal with the obsession of my curves and unique skin tone that was blesses and sun-kissed by God, yet still being told that European beauty standards is what is considered truly beautiful.

We are targets, we have always been targets. I swear every time I hear about someone who has been killed by police brutality my heart get heavy. Right now its time to educate ourselves and stand together and support each other.

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My favorite products for coily/curly natural hair

Natural hair is literally a lifestyle! and it is not as easy as it looks especially trying to watch videos on YouTube, stalk your favorite naturals on Instagram (and even snapchat), and play mad scientist trying to figure out all the different products that either work or don’t work with your hair type. Then there is more research trying to figure out how to grow your hair down your back while retaining length and keeping it manageable. I feel like I am taking another college class from all the reading,watching, experimentation, and research! Look ain’t nobody got time for that lol. But then again I have learned from being natural for the last five years that everything comes with time and it’s okay to change things up! As human beings it’s in our nature to do so lol.

I know I told myself that I would pace myself with these product reviews but seeing that my Instagram along with Facebook is full of questions so I decided to a guild on how to manage those coils and curls that don’t want to act right lol.

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  • Deep Conditioner: My number one choice is Aussie 3 Minute Miracle “Moist”Deep Conditioner! This is product right her it life and it helps deep condition and detangle my hair. I swear once your in the shower and you washed the shampoo out and put this stuff on your hair, leave it in for about 5 minutes (I get lazy and I never time this deep conditioner so the longer you live it in the better) and watch when you rinse out your hair your hair is soft and hydrated. Your hair is going to feel butter soft and manageable….believe me I could go on about this product but it’s worth it lol. And the one thing that I hate is as you know most naturals are heavy handed with the products so this deep conditioner can be used up quick, so make sure you get at least two of these to last for a while!

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  • Shampoo and Conditioner: I have been using this product for the last 8 months and I must say, I like it! Organix Coconut Milk Shampoo and Conditioner is worth the time and money. Now this can be used on all kinds of hair types and even color treated hair. I use up the conditioner the majority of the time but the shampoo is just as good. Your hair is going to smell like coconuts pretty much the whole day especially if you use coconut oil after lol. I swear your hair will thank you for it.

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  • Leave-In Conditioner: With dark and lovely I was nervous to use at first but with a leap of faith and because I wanted something different I bought these two items. Dark and Lovely Au Naturale Super Softening Hair Butter and Curl Moisturizing Souffle are my go to products for my styling and everyday leave-in conditioner. I use shea butter along with jojoba oil, dark castor oil, and coconut oil. My hair feels hydrated and moisturized all day and it smells great too. Also I use the Au Naturale Curl Moisturizing Souffle for my braid-outs, twist-outs, roller sets, and wash-in-go’s. I use the Au Naturale Super Softening Hair Butter for when my hair is a couple of days old and I put my hair up in buns and puffs for even before I put my box braids in lol. The price is okay but it will last a long time if you save the product to the last drop and I mean the very last drop lol.

I find that having curly and coily hair can be a challenge yet it can be fun at the same time. You just have to find products that work for you and your hair. Being natural is exploring and having fun with what works for you. It can be hard and there are some moments that you might want to cut your hair off because you feel like its too much work to be honest lol. Well I’m here to say that keep the hope alive and keep following my blog for more tips and tricks lol!

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My favorite nude lip colors for brown skin women

When I first started wearing make up I stayed away from nude colored lipsticks. I feel like when I would walk into MAC, Sephora, or even Ulta I would have some white women try to tell me about a nude lipstick that looks great on her, but makes my lips look ashy lol. But thank God for YouTube and all the women of color that are makeup artist that have been posting videos to help out young women like me not to look like we dipped out lips in powered sugar.

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Now it’s my turn to help out all my brown girls and (guys) that want something that is brown skin approved!

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Disclamer: My skin type is Combination/Oily Skin and my skin tone is medium brown with a red undertones. Think of MAC NC 50, NARS Luminous Weightless Foundation in “New Guinea”, Black Radiance “Rum Spice” and Urban Decay Naked Skin Foundation #10

  • NYX Cosmetics Intense Butter Gloss in “Chocolate Crepe” and “Cinnamon Roll”: The color pay off is amazing! its creamy and long lasting. I would usually pair this with a lip primer and a dark brown lip liner just to make the gloss pop. Plus you can find these intense butter gloss anywhere and they are in a good price range so its not breaking your bank. And…they smell so yummy as well it would actually make you want a sweet treat after the fact! lol

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    Cinnamon Roll
  • NYX Cosmetics Soft Matte Lip Cream in “Dubai” and “Rome”: I love how soft this color goes on and the pigmentation is great. I would pair this yet again with a dark brown or medium brown liner either by NYX or any other makeup brand. Don’t forget to put a lip primer on BEFORE you put these colors on to make sure that the color last longer!
  • NYX Lingerie Liquid Lipsticks (The Whole Line): I know I said I would only talk about one or two colors but in all reality, this whole line has won my heart over and the price it perfect for a beauty on a budget! Look this line is my top favorite line for brown girls of all shades to try. And the liquid lipsticks dry fast and last long so reapplying is not needed usually. These lip shades can use a lip line or not, but on the safe side, use a lip liner. Also make sure before putting these colors on you put on some type of chap-stick or even coconut oil if you feel fancy lol.nyx lingerie
  • Too Faced Melted Chocolate Liquid Lipticks (The Whole Line): Look I love the colors that are in this line and any women could wear this line actually. I like “Chocolate Cherries” and “Metallic Frozen Hot Chocolate” as my top two but I know there is more I still need to try lol. These are a little more expensive but its worth the money and this line is very pigmented too. These also smell good too so be careful lol.too faced chocolate
  • Kat Von D Liquid Lipstick in “Lolita” and “Lolita II”: I swear it took me 6 months to get my hands on these two but it was worth the wait! They are long lasting, high pigment, and dry pretty fast once applied. these babies will last a long time and the price may seem high but it’s totally worth it lol. “Lolita” is more of a pink based brown and with brown liner it looks so soft and natural on brown skin. “Lolita II” on the other hand, looks more of a light dusty pink base with brown mixed in, its going to show up like a dark dusty rose…Basically one is more pink than the other lol. But they are worth it. But I wish that she would put more nude shades in her line but then again only time would tell. lolita

Now I have a craving to buy more nude lip shades lol. But in all reality, don’t be afraid to experiment and have fun with make up. It is used to ENHANCE your natural beauty not mask it. If you have any recommendations for nude lip colors I should try comment down below and subscribe!

The Love/Hate Relationship With Being Short and Having a Baby Face

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Being only 24 years old standing at 5’2 3/4th’s with a baby face that can get me mistaken for being a high school senior even though I am in my mid-20’s drives me crazy! I mean, every time I go somewhere to have an alcoholic drink I get carded, my feet in the majority of chairs (and sometimes on the toilet) sadly dangle, and whenever there is something really high on a shelf I have to climb up and get it, almost risking my life. I mean don’t get me wrong I love being short but sometimes it can be a pain in the butt and really annoying.

Here are some of the pros and cons of being short, or in other words my love and hate relationship with being short and having a baby face:

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  • Not being able to reach things that are put in high places: This shit bothers me and can make people laugh at the same time. I hate being in the store or even going shopping and there is something that is at the top of the shelf and I have to jump,climb, and even knock things off the shelf just to get what I want. Most of the time I just give up and ask for help.

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  • Being told “Oh my gosh your 24, I thought you were 18” or “Wait aren’t you a freshmen? Oh your older….never mind”: Look the good Lord blessed me with ageless melanin and great skin. I can’t help it that I look like I should be a graduating senior in High School and not a College Graduate. But then again this could be a good thing because that means I’ll look 25 when I’m like 34 so in the end MELANIN WINS!

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  • Siting on any seat that is too high and realizing that your feet are swinging: I really feel like a big ass kid when this happens. Going to the bar with my girls and realizing that (1) I have to climb up on to the stool and (2) that once sitting, my feet are extremely high off the ground and my feet are swinging. When sitting on the toilet I looking down, and realize my feet are 3 inches off the ground so being the big kid that I am, I swing my feet. I can usually laugh at this but sometimes this can be a little embarrassing and also annoying as well.

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  • Having a significant other that messes with you all the time because you are way smaller that him: “Look you will respect me!….I know I’m adorable but I’m serious!….This is not funny, I don’t understand what is so fucking funny…..etc.” And the whole time you’re cussing him out, screaming at him and in his head he is laughing because your height mixed with your baby face makes you look even more adorable than before. The fact that he is 6’0 and above, and standing next to him you could be his arm rest makes it even worse. For me when I’m upset people usually don’t take me serious only when I say some crazy shit or change the tone of my voice, but usually 8/10 times this actually works lol.

Now don’t get me I love being short and having a youthful look but sometimes I makes me notice things that I have never noticed before. The majority of the women in my family are really tall and I figured growing up I would be tall too, but the good Lord upstairs didn’t bless me like I though. I love the fact that I am “fun sized” and that I can buy cute shoes for half the price. SO LONG STORY SHORT…..I have a love/hate relationship with being short.

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Self Care, Self Love, and Personal Growth (What I Understand)

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I know when I was a teenager I was so ready to be an adult! I couldn’t wait to be in college and be on my own away from my crazy family life and a city that I felt that couldn’t offer me anything because I was “to old and mature”. I was ready to start something brand new and hopefully find something that was bigger than myself.Once I got out of my grandparents 3 bedroom house that was right smack dab in the middle of the hood, I realized that all the times they told me, “You think you grown, but you aint! You better be careful because life isn’t as easy as it seems….but your gonna see!”and they were actually right (Don’t tell them I said that!).Life as an adult is hard,stressful and also challenging but I feel that once you learn about self care,self love and personal growth it’s not as bad as it seems.

So I am going to share with you the things that I learned (SO FAR) about self care, self love, and personal growth:

  • Self Care: Life is going to stress you out, that is always going to happen. But fine the time to relax, because in the long run your health (mental,spiritual, and physical) will take a slow and damaging turn. I know for me I like to do my homework during the week and (hopefully) but the weekend I can light some candles, watch my favorite shows, and just sleep in. Also what I plan on doing is turning off social media and clocking out of the cyber world to mentally relax. I feel that we are in a day and age that everything we do is on social media and it’s too much! I hate it because everyone is on these outlets lying about stuff to impress the next person because they have something that they want. Ever heard of the term “Keep hating your going to turn green with envy”! I don’t have time to put on a show for no one and don’t get me wrong I do have my noisy moments but I don’t need to know every since part of your life.

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  • Self Love: I’m no expert on this but I know that enjoying and loving yourself will reflect on to other people and from there you’ll feel better about yourself. I have always been told that I have a bright personality and I feel that comes from feeling positive and letting my inner beauty shine out. I want to leave a positive impression on the people I meet because you never know how that may affect that person. I love to laugh and I know that sharing a laugh with someone might be the thing that they were needing at that moment. Also with the idea of self love, understanding that God made you the way you are! He knew what he was doing the whole time and he loves you just the way you are (ugh don’t get me crying and preaching please). Understand that you can’t be perfect and if you keep striving for it, your going to burn yourself out. It’s okay to cry and be sad if needed but don’t be that way for long. I know when I was suffering with depression, I lost the love for life and for myself, and it took a tole on me. So I had to fine the love within myself, and it’s still a thing I am still dealing with to this day so don’t think that self love isn’t a journey, because it is!

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  • Personal Growth: Now when I started college I was 18 (turning 19: I have an early birthday) and now I am 24 years old and I know that I have grown a lot since then! I know that by the time I get 30, I probably will not have the same mind state that I have now at 24. Changing and growing is apart of life, for example my hair may be any shade of red (right now it’s burgundy) but maybe by 30 it will be a short cut that is just how life changes up on us! Learning from the mistakes as well as learning from the blessings that God gives you will help you along your journey in life. Not everyone will be on this personal journey, friends may slowly move out of the picture, boyfriend/girlfriend may or may not be growing with you, career may change, you never know where life could take you. But hell enjoy the ride and eat the snacks (knowledge) that are provided!

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Remember that life is never going to be easy because if it was then we would all have perfect lives. But taking the time to give yourself a mental break will make it a little easier to deal with and more understanding. Never be afraid to meditate, pray,relax, and give yourself time to reflect on the things that you have been through. It’s okay to be emotional and cry, believe me I have done it a lot lately! Now go out there and take on the world, but in baby steps lol