Police Brutality, Lynching, and Higher Education (the modern day trauma)

I swear my heart hurts so bad write now but writing is currently my therapy. I feel like I need to call on my ancestors and burn some sage in order to cleanse all the killing of black souls that have been happening in the last couple of years. I have a duty as a blogger to write how I feel along with reporting whats going on as an educator but a storyteller of the struggle.

I feel like ever since “The Election” of our new president the world has had there….as Paul Mooney would say….”the Nigga wake up call”! Everyone seems as if they are walking on eggshells just because at any moment the state of the nation can get really ugly, well technically it already has been ugly. American history was naver made for the minority. Politically our thoughts and ideas to better this country that lives of the idea of “manifest destiny”(which was a lie, and a scare tactic to come and rape, murder, and steal from native Americans buy saying it was Gods plan….was pretty fucked up) has never been welcomed either. We are reverting back to the 1950’s and Jim Crow era along with Bull Connor (aka Donald Trump) back tracking and promoting bullshit. Hate producing hate, racism producing racism, and shady politics promoting more shady politics.real-racism

Sometimes self care is the best care. Everything isn’t going the way it’s suppose to be in life sometimes and these last couple of months are trying times. People are in a mass sense of depression and worry. I pray for the state of the nation, I pray for the national government. I pray for all minorities that are willing to stand with each other in solidarity.

Even though I am a newly college graduate, I am still a black woman and that will never change. I can still get shot, raped, and arrested. I can have everything taken from me and still be told “you didn’t work hard enough….your being lazy”. Even though it took me 6 years to get a degree, I now have a $50,000 price tag by the federal government that I have to pay off too. Slavery can come in many forms, from the school to prison pipeline all the way to taking 10 years to get financially stable after going through undergrad, masters, and Ph.D. My black excellence matters but it took me almost half of my life being in my own skin to be able to love myself.

They tell you growing up that you can be anything that you want to be yet they make it 100% harder than anyone else. Well hopefully, times are going to change.

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The tactics with police brutality in the last 20 years have been to me considered modern day trauma. We have to stand together no matter what! IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP!

Life After Graduation(Transitional Period Pt.1)

I swear I feel weird. I feel like once I walked across the stage, turned my tassel to the other side, and left the arena to see my family and friends greet me with hugs and gifts, I felt just weird. College at the undergraduate level was over. There was no more fighting for classes, waiting 20 minutes in line to get lunch on campus, and trying to order books the week before (or the week of) even though the professor never used the book after all. I didn’t have to worry about trying to time manage everything when it comes to classes, work schedules, self care, and sleep. I know I’m not just going through it there is a lot of college graduates that can relate to what I’m going through.College was over. This milestone is over. It was all over!

I beleve it

 

Now a couple months go by and you start to look for work because sitting in your room, watching Netflix, and eating frosted flakes isn’t cutting it. You start looking at graduate school options but sadly you don’t have enough money to apply to  the big list of colleges that you want to apply to. You work at a job that doesn’t give you enough pay to even survive off of and yet you manage to do it. Because you have free time you go out more, even though you know dang well you are a home body (I like to call it a extrovert/introvert). Relationships suck because it seems like everyone around you are trying to get they stuff together and seems like no one has time to show any type of emotion. You just start to feel lost.

Now you wonder “What’s Next?”, you are at a cross roads on what is next in your life. This is all that I am feeling at one time, just lost, confused and upset.

I know all you can do it take it one step at a time. I know it sounds a little too simple, but that is pretty much it. Pray and follow God in all that you need to do. Keep going and do things that you love. Make sure that your self care always comes first. There is more to life than what is going on. I know it’s going to get better. Just take your time.